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May I scam all yr money pls k thnks?

Sometimes Silly Spammer entries damn near write themselves. Check out this beauty:

Subject: READ PLZ.
With God
show details 8:08 AM (33 minutes ago)
please view the attachment and advice on this lucrative business then respond to me asap.

Maybe there’s a certain subset of the spammer’s target demographic that would be hoodwinked by the ‘With God’ bit. After all, no one would abuse people’s religious faith to scam a buck out of them, now would they?
Jim and Tammy, scamming for the Lord

This is a basic ‘Nigerian money transfer’ type scam, but this has to be the most inept scammer in Nigeria. Or maybe its a way to do some self selection on suckers–after all, who else would open an email attachment from someone they don’t know to read their pitch? What bad could possibly come from blindly opening an email attachment?

The best part is the subject line–after evoking God’s name to establish credibility how better to further convince your mark that your email is on the up and up than by talking like a LOL Cat?

I has diamond mine! I will share Pls? k thx
moar funny pictures

And you know that if you want to Bet on NFL football or get the latestNFL betting lines you gotta do it at Sports-1 Internet Sportsbook

2009 09 22 wizard1 Dubious Prose
Nigerian scammers
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We wear metal…we wear spikes…we wave our male power hammer

This spam sucked, but the subject line reminded me of a Manowar song title….’Male Power Hammer’:

Add your male power hammer

And here’s Manowar’s video for ‘Gloves of Metal’ which may be the best video ever made:

2009 09 02 wizard1 Dubious Prose
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Why are you so interested in my penis, bro…

Here’s a bit of advice for anyone who wants me to take their email seriously. Don’t address me as ‘bro’. Even if you have a great subject line like:

If your penis hangs motionless you’re up the creek without a paddle!

I’m not going to pay attention to anyone who doesn’t know me and addresses me as ‘bro’ or ‘dude’ or ‘guy’. This guy calls me ‘bro’ in the first line and ‘dude’ in the last line Try a term of respect like ’sir’ or, better yet, ‘bossman’ or ‘chief’. Anyway, here’s the rest of the spam:

How’s life treating you, bro?
It’s naturally been ages. That was a hard time for me! I faced certain problems with my men’s health, if you know what I mean. It was an absolute disaster for me! Every time I tried to make love with Celine, my penis let me down. It was hanging helplessly. I was wrecked and ashamed! Being 25 years old and having no erection!? I was pissed off! But Celine was so delicate and careful that she managed to talk me into trying one of those drugs for erectile dysfunction treatment.
It is no fun, I must tell you. I was ready to try anything! And she ordered that Cialis + Viagra Powerpack from some on-line store. It was delivered the next day. But it all doesn’t matter; the most important thing is that it helped me! I regained my sexual power and we have normal sex now! But I continue taking these awesome pills because I don’t want that horrible time to come back.
So, dude, if you face this problem now you know where to look for help!

Hate to break it to this guy, but being 25 years old and popping penis pills you get online does not equal ‘normal sex’. Bro….

And you know that if you want to Bet on NFL football or get the latestNFL betting lines you gotta do it at Sports-1 Internet Sportsbook

Read all about UFC 103 and get all the UFC 103 live play by play resultsat THE SAVAGE SCIENCE. Or if you just want MMA news or the latest 4-1-1 on MMA fights. Go there. Now. Bro.

2009 09 02 wizard1 Dubious Prose
Meta
Penis Enlarement
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C is for Cookie?

More comment spam from SavSci:

Great headline. If your cookie has a bite-sized action and your reader completes the action, I think two things happen. Their self-confidence goes up (which feels good) and their trust in you increases.

I don’t know what it means either, but its a good excuse to put up a video of Cookie Monster jamming to some death metal:

And you know that if you want to Bet on NFL football or get the latestNFL betting lines you gotta do it at Sports-1 Internet Sportsbook

Read all about UFC 103 and get all the UFC 103 live play by play resultsat THE SAVAGE SCIENCE

2009 08 15 wizard1 Dubious Prose
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Don’t make me email you in detail, pal…

More comment spam…this one from a SavSci post where we quote Dana White saying that Chuck Liddell is retired.

charming post. due one unimportant where I contest with it. I am emailing you in detail.

I never got the ‘email in detail’ despite the fact that ‘due one unimportant’ that the guy ‘contest with it’. At least he thought the post was charming, as we strive to be the most charming MMA site on the Internet.

2009 08 13 wizard1 Dubious Prose
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Impotence according to Nigel McGuinness

More comment spam…the use of the word ‘geezer’, a common term among urologists, evokes former ROH World Champion Nigel McGuinness:

Premature ejaculation is a described as a sexual get characterised about a geezer’s insufficiency of discretionary govern finished ejaculation. In Laymen’s terms, this means that a staff who suffers from unfledged ejaculation involuntarily reaches climax/orgasm sooner than he would like too. It effects up to 30% of the worlds male denizens and can affect both younger and older men.

Nice use of the term ‘geezer’ and ‘denizens’ in the same paragraph.

2009 08 13 wizard1 Dubious Prose
Sexual Degenerates
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Now that you explain it that way…

From the SAVSCI blog comment spam, we get this helpful explanation of premature ejaculation that clears everything up:

Premature ejaculation is a described as a carnal stipulation characterised nearby a bracelets’s insufficiency of unconstrained master finished ejaculation. In Laymen’s terms, this means that a staff who suffers from overhasty ejaculation involuntarily reaches climax/orgasm sooner than he would like too. It effects up to 30% of the worlds masculine natives and can put on both younger and older men.

And you know that if you want to Bet on NFL or Bet on CFL football you gotta do it at Sports-1 Internet Sportsbook

The Savage Science is your source for UFC news, MMA news plus the best MMA blog. Go check it out!

2009 08 13 wizard1 Dubious Prose
Sexual Degenerates
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Schizophrenic spam bots

Yet another great spam plucked from the comment spam queue on your number one source for MMA news, not to mention the world’s best MMA blog The Savage Science:

If you’re going to use a spambot, at least read the instruction manual. Otherwise instead of merely coming off as a spamming douchebag, you’ll come off as a schizophrenic spamming douchebag:

I just felt I needed to break in and mention how-do-you-do to everyone. I needed to introduce me, my name is Ashley. Hello everyone, my name is Frank.howdy to all, I am recent here and my name is Bill.

I determined to post now because I think forum as a whole is very structural and social. I love reading all of the themes and topics here and being that I am not much of a poster, I decided to make my very initial post.

To dedicate back to the forum, I have come to the conclusion I wanted to leave a new good experience that I have had with another website I used. This site is up front and very professional.

Note to Bill, Ashley and/or Frank–its hard to sell a product when you don’t know who the hell you are. At the very least figure out what gender you are.

Bet on NFL at Sports-1

The Savage Science is your source for UFC news, MMA news plus the best MMA blog. Go check it out!

2009 08 07 wizard1 Dubious Prose
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You got some ’splainin’ to do, Lucy…

From the comment spam at the MMA news DeathStar, aka THE SAVAGE SCIENCE. It’s actually from our MMA blog:

One of the things that comment spammers try to do is pick up sleazy inbound links. This helps their Google search rankings and so forth. Usually they’re obvious things like ‘Viagra’ , porn, etc. This was kind of strange. We’ve highlighted the strangeness:

Submitted on 2009/07/23 at 1:14pm
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It would seem to the uninitiated that the keyword ‘Desi Arnaz, Jr’ wouldn’t be so competitive that ‘black hat’ SEO tactics would be necessary.

Bet on UFC @ Sports-1

2009 07 23 wizard1 WTF? Comments (0) Permalink

First, spam no harm…

We plucked this from the comment spam over on the best MMA blog on the planet, which is part of the MMA news and commentary DeathStar known as THE SAVAGE SCIENCE. Its a garden variety prescription drugs spam with one amusing twist:

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# Do NOT take more than the recommended dose or stop using without checking with your doctor.

This may be the first spam with a ‘recommended dosage’ and ‘check with your doctor’ disclaimer. Wonder how that conversation would go: “Doc, I’ve been randomly taking erectile dysfunction medicine I’ve bought from sketchy suppliers via email spam, but I want to stop taking them now and figure I should check with you first.”

Bet on UFC

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2009 07 06 wizard1 Penis Enlarement
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