Subject: READ PLZ.
With God
show details 8:08 AM (33 minutes ago)
please view the attachment and advice on this lucrative business then respond to me asap.

Maybe there’s a certain subset of the spammer’s target demographic that would be hoodwinked by the ‘With God’ bit. After all, no one would abuse people’s religious faith to scam a buck out of them, now would they?

This is a basic ‘Nigerian money transfer’ type scam, but this has to be the most inept scammer in Nigeria. Or maybe its a way to do some self selection on suckers–after all, who else would open an email attachment from someone they don’t know to read their pitch? What bad could possibly come from blindly opening an email attachment?

The best part is the subject line–after evoking God’s name to establish credibility how better to further convince your mark that your email is on the up and up than by talking like a LOL Cat?

moar funny pictures

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Add your male power hammer

And here’s Manowar’s video for ‘Gloves of Metal’ which may be the best video ever made:

If your penis hangs motionless you’re up the creek without a paddle!

I’m not going to pay attention to anyone who doesn’t know me and addresses me as ‘bro’ or ‘dude’ or ‘guy’. This guy calls me ‘bro’ in the first line and ‘dude’ in the last line Try a term of respect like ‘sir’ or, better yet, ‘bossman’ or ‘chief’. Anyway, here’s the rest of the spam:

How’s life treating you, bro?
It’s naturally been ages. That was a hard time for me! I faced certain problems with my men’s health, if you know what I mean. It was an absolute disaster for me! Every time I tried to make love with Celine, my penis let me down. It was hanging helplessly. I was wrecked and ashamed! Being 25 years old and having no erection!? I was pissed off! But Celine was so delicate and careful that she managed to talk me into trying one of those drugs for erectile dysfunction treatment.
It is no fun, I must tell you. I was ready to try anything! And she ordered that Cialis + Viagra Powerpack from some on-line store. It was delivered the next day. But it all doesn’t matter; the most important thing is that it helped me! I regained my sexual power and we have normal sex now! But I continue taking these awesome pills because I don’t want that horrible time to come back.
So, dude, if you face this problem now you know where to look for help!

Hate to break it to this guy, but being 25 years old and popping penis pills you get online does not equal ‘normal sex’. Bro….

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Great headline. If your cookie has a bite-sized action and your reader completes the action, I think two things happen. Their self-confidence goes up (which feels good) and their trust in you increases.

I don’t know what it means either, but its a good excuse to put up a video of Cookie Monster jamming to some death metal:

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charming post. due one unimportant where I contest with it. I am emailing you in detail.

I never got the ‘email in detail’ despite the fact that ‘due one unimportant’ that the guy ‘contest with it’. At least he thought the post was charming, as we strive to be the most charming MMA site on the Internet.

Premature ejaculation is a described as a sexual get characterised about a geezer’s insufficiency of discretionary govern finished ejaculation. In Laymen’s terms, this means that a staff who suffers from unfledged ejaculation involuntarily reaches climax/orgasm sooner than he would like too. It effects up to 30% of the worlds male denizens and can affect both younger and older men.

Nice use of the term ‘geezer’ and ‘denizens’ in the same paragraph.

Premature ejaculation is a described as a carnal stipulation characterised nearby a bracelets’s insufficiency of unconstrained master finished ejaculation. In Laymen’s terms, this means that a staff who suffers from overhasty ejaculation involuntarily reaches climax/orgasm sooner than he would like too. It effects up to 30% of the worlds masculine natives and can put on both younger and older men.

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If you’re going to use a spambot, at least read the instruction manual. Otherwise instead of merely coming off as a spamming douchebag, you’ll come off as a schizophrenic spamming douchebag:

I just felt I needed to break in and mention how-do-you-do to everyone. I needed to introduce me, my name is Ashley. Hello everyone, my name is Frank.howdy to all, I am recent here and my name is Bill.

I determined to post now because I think forum as a whole is very structural and social. I love reading all of the themes and topics here and being that I am not much of a poster, I decided to make my very initial post.

To dedicate back to the forum, I have come to the conclusion I wanted to leave a new good experience that I have had with another website I used. This site is up front and very professional.

Note to Bill, Ashley and/or Frank–its hard to sell a product when you don’t know who the hell you are. At the very least figure out what gender you are.

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The Savage Science is your source for UFC news, MMA news plus the best MMA blog. Go check it out!

One of the things that comment spammers try to do is pick up sleazy inbound links. This helps their Google search rankings and so forth. Usually they’re obvious things like ‘Viagra’ , porn, etc. This was kind of strange. We’ve highlighted the strangeness:

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It would seem to the uninitiated that the keyword ‘Desi Arnaz, Jr’ wouldn’t be so competitive that ‘black hat’ SEO tactics would be necessary.

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# Do NOT take more than the recommended dose or stop using without checking with your doctor.

This may be the first spam with a ‘recommended dosage’ and ‘check with your doctor’ disclaimer. Wonder how that conversation would go: “Doc, I’ve been randomly taking erectile dysfunction medicine I’ve bought from sketchy suppliers via email spam, but I want to stop taking them now and figure I should check with you first.”

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